


Finding Balance

by halosun



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Missing Scene, Season/Series 03, but lots of mutual pining if you squint, post-southern raiders episode, really just a small moment of understanding between the two of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24852751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halosun/pseuds/halosun
Summary: Katara is still haunted by ghosts after her confrontation with Yon Rha. Zuko attempts to help keep the darkness at bay.A post-Southern Raiders conversation, addressing a few topics that never got covered in the show but really should have been.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 98





	Finding Balance

They left Yon Rha lying in the mud. 

The rain was coming down in sheets as Katara and Zuko made their way back to the small cave where they had left Appa, and both of them were soaked to the bone.

No one spoke. A deadly silence radiated off of Katara, and Zuko seemed as though he was loathe to break it.

They reached the mouth of the cave and Katara hastily bent the water from their black stealth clothes as they stepped inside. Without pausing, she walked to the back of the cave where Appa lay crunching on some hay and rested her head against his side. He let out a soft growl, and Katara put her hands into his fur, sighing deeply. She could sense Zuko hovering only a few feet away, as though he wanted to say something but didn’t know if he should.

“You think I’m weak, don’t you?” she mumbled, the sound muffled somewhat by Appa’s fur.

“No, I don’t” he said, after a pause.

She turned to glare at him. “Liar. I know you do. I know because I think so too. How could I have come all this way, just to do nothing? I’ve failed her.” Her last word caught on a sob and she turned back to Appa, determined that Zuko wouldn’t see her cry.

He sighed, and walked over to stand next her. “You haven’t failed her, Katara, and you’re not weak. This was what you needed. Closure.”

He tentatively put a hand on her elbow, and she stiffened, but to both of their surprise, did not pull away.

“Would you have said the same thing if I had killed him?” she asked him, almost challenging. 

“Yes.”

She was shocked at his certainty. “Than how can you be sure that I made the right choice?”

“Maybe there are no clear right and wrong choices for this situation. Only the choice that was right for you.”

They were silent for a long time after that. Katara stared at him, really looked, for maybe the very first time. He was unflinching under her gaze, but his amber eyes looked softer, maybe a little sadder, than she remembered them. His scar didn’t seem quite so horrible now. She was becoming used to it, becoming used to _him_ , she realized with a shock, after so many months of seeing him as the enemy.

His hand had travelled up her arm to rest on her shoulder. She felt the heat coming off of his hand, and he blushed as she glanced down at it.

“Sorry” he muttered, and quickly removed it. “I’ll go start a fire. We should probably wait for the storm to pass before we leave.”

They ate dinner in silence. Katara was still troubled by the events of the past two days, and she stared into the fire as she ate. Yon Rha’s face, and the terrified face of the current captain of the Southern Raiders flashed before her eyes. The second face in particular disturbed her. After swearing that she would never use her bloodbending again, she had broken her promise , had in fact reveled in it in the moment, and it turned out he wasn’t even the man they were searching for. 

She shuddered, and tried to instead conjure up the image of her mother, but to her horror, couldn’t even form a clear picture of her. It had been six years, and even now, on a day when she had thought about her mother almost every waking second, it was hard to remember her face.

Zuko was watching her closely, his eyes narrowed.

“Are you okay?” he asked bluntly.

She scowled. “I’m fine.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” She lay down on her bedroll and turned away from the fire. “You wouldn’t understand anyways.”

She heard him sigh. “Try me.”

And suddenly, she was back in the crystal catacombs of Ba Sing Se.

_ “I’m sorry. That’s something we have in common.” _

She sat up and turned to look at him, ashamed. 

“I forgot.”

“Lucky you.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, and meant it.

He looked away, the scarred side of his face turned to her in the firelight. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter,” she said, hating the note of bitterness in his voice. “I—how long has it been since you lost your mother?”

“Six years.”

Katara started. It was the same year. How many more strange similarities would she discover to have with this Fire Nation prince?

“Do you still remember her face?” she asked. “I can remember certain things about my mother, like she always wore her hair down, and she loved seal jerky, and the sound of her voice as she sang me to sleep every night, but for the life of me, some days I can’t even remember what she looked like! What is wrong with me?”

Zuko bowed his head. “I know what you mean,” he rasped. “I was ten when my mother disappeared. I had a portrait of her in my room back at the palace and I used to stare at it for hours, trying to memorize her face so I would recognize her if she ever decided to come back. But no one ever smiles in Fire Nation portraits. So by the time I realized that she wasn’t coming back, I had already forgotten what her smile looked like.”

Katara felt her heart clench at his words. “What happened to her?” she whispered.

There was a rather tense pause, which went on for so long that Katara started to think he had chosen to ignore her question. But finally, he let out a deep shuddering breath and began to speak in a low hoarse voice.

“When I was ten years old, my parents took Azula and I to see the Fire Lord, our grandfather Azulon. My Uncle Iroh’s son had just died, and Ozai tried to convince my grandfather that he should be named the heir instead of Iroh because he had healthy, living children. My grandfather was furious that he would try to usurp Uncle’s claim, and as punishment, he ordered Ozai to kill his own son. Me.”

Katara gasped, unable to help herself.

Zuko’s eyes flickered up at her reaction, but only shrugged at the horrified expression on her face. “Fire Nation politics” he said. “Anyways—"

“I woke up the next morning to find that my grandfather was dead, Ozai was the new Fire Lord, and my mother had disappeared. No one would tell me where she was or what happened to her. She…“ he swallowed suddenly. “I only found this out recently, on the day of the eclipse. I went to confront Ozai before I left, and to stall for time he told me what happened to her. She was able to persuade him not to kill me, but only because she killed my grandfather instead and made sure his will was changed so that Ozai would become the new Fire Lord. He banished her in thanks.”

“But Zuko…” Katara said slowly, “You realize what this means right? Your—”

“My mother could still be alive, yeah. And as soon as this war is over, I’m going to try and find her.”

Silence fell again after his declaration. There was nothing really to say, and Katara was still trying to process all that she had just heard. Their lives were so different, yet in many ways, they were also so similar. The knowledge nearly rendered her speechless.

Zuko was looking at her now with a curious expression on his face.

“Can I ask you something?” he said suddenly.

She looked up, surprised. “What is it?”

“What was that bending technique that you used on the Captain of the Southern Raiders? It almost looked like—“

“Like I was bending his blood?” She closed her eyes. “It’s because I was.”

“How—“

“An waterbender named Hama taught me” Katara said, her face red with anger and shame. “She used it to torture Fire Nation villagers out of revenge for herself and her tribe. I didn’t want to learn it but she forced me to. I promised myself I would never use it again. But yesterday…I was just so _angry_ …It was like I couldn’t stop myself.” She shook her head. “Bloodbending is evil, and I used it on an innocent man! Part of me wonders if that makes me evil too.”

“No…” Zuko said slowly. He still looked wary, but a new emotion flickered in his eyes, one that almost looked like respect. “I don’t think bloodbending is evil. It’s terrifying—” he said quickly at the shocked expression on Katara’s face, “—and I _definitely_ wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of it, but I don’t think that it’s inherently evil.”

Katara frowned. “How so?”

He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. “I imagine it’s like bending lighting, I guess. It’s terrifying to witness and it takes an incredibly talented bender to create it—” Katara blushed at his indirect praise “—and it certainly can be used to do horrible things, but learning the technique isn’t evil in and of itself.”

“I don’t know…” Katara said. “Azula and Ozai both bend lighting, and I’d certainly call them evil. No offense,” she added quickly.

But Zuko only shrugged. “So does my Uncle. I know you don’t know him that well, but would you call him evil too?”

“I guess not.”

“So see? You’re not evil just because you can bend blood. Only if you use it to do evil things.”

She frowned. “Than what would you call me using it on an innocent Fire Nation captain?”

Zuko shrugged again. “You lost control; simple as that. I’ve lost control too many times to count,” he said sheepishly “and ended up doing horrible things because of it.”

When she still looked unconvinced, Zuko sighed. “Look…” He conjured a little flame in his palm. “Before Aang and I went to visit the Sun Warriors, I always thought that fire was the element of destruction. It burns and consumes everything in its path, and it’s so easy to hurt people with it. But the Sun Warriors taught me that fire is also life. It's light and warmth and without it, we’d be lost. Every element has a light side and a dark side, it’s what creates balance. Maybe bloodbending is part of the darker side of waterbending, but it’s not something to be ashamed of, Katara. It’s a part of you, just as much as your healing is, just like my human torch abilities are a part of me.”

She smiled as he extinguished the flame in his hand, and he returned her smile with a tentative one of his own, looking younger and kinder than she had ever seen him. And suddenly, a tremendous feeling of gratitude washed over her. He didn’t judge her for any of her decisions. He had seen the darkest parts of her and accepted them, had even helped her to begin to understand them herself. 

_It’s because he struggles with that darkness too_ , she realized.

“Thank you, Zuko” she said sincerely. “For bringing me here, for everything these past few days, really. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

He ducked his head, but Katara still caught the blush rising on his unscarred cheek. “It was the least I could do,” he mumbled. After a beat, he lay down on his bedroll facing the fire, his amber eyes flickering in the firelight. “We should get some sleep.”

Katara nodded. She curled up on her bedroll, also facing the fire, and wondered just who was the boy laying across from her. The one who was kind and wise when he had once been cruel, who’s traumatic childhood in many ways paralleled her own, who spoke freely of his mistakes and tried to atone for them with actions that no one else would even consider.

A thought suddenly came to her.

“Zuko?” she said softly.

“Yeah?” came a voice from across the cave.

“When this is all over, I’ll help you find your mother. If you’d like.”

There was a long silence, but the fire suddenly seemed to glow brighter, and Katara could tell he was pleasantly surprised by her words.

Finally, a reply whispered out of the darkness, a single word filled with disbelief and hope.

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Just finished binging Avatar again for the first time in years and I can't believe I forgot how amazing this ship is. There's so much content that never got addressed, which while disappointing, is perfect for writing fic.
> 
> I feel like Zuko is inadvertently channeling Uncle Iroh here? Even though he's not always the most eloquent (lol), he tends to actually give pretty good advice. And Katara is just starting to realize that maybe she really could forgive him.
> 
> First time writing for this pairing, so let me know what you think!


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